Ron Warrior Queen
by Ninja Master
Summary: Kim Possible characters as Xena Characters. Part 1 of 2.
1. Episode 1 Ron

Episode 1 Ron

Screams. I don't wanna die!

Kill them all!

Help! My baby!

Run, woman! They're trying to kill us all!

Trying? I think we're succeeding. Stop! Let

her live. You old crone. Tell the world what we did here.

Let them know what devastation awaits anyone who defies me.

Who are you?

I'm Shego, Warrior Princess! Maniacal laugh.

Act 1

Innkeeper, please wine!

You look like you could use that more than me. You all

right?

No but thank you for your kindness. My name is Ned.

Shego.

Shego? The Warrior Princess?

Some people call me that.

Brief Fight.

Go ahead murder me just like you murdered my son.

What are you saying?

I found a woman from my village lying half dead in the

road. She said you and your army murdered everyone but her

even my 6 yr old son.

That's a lie.

Then why does every traveler between here and Corinth

have a story about an army led by Shego?

That's true.

Kim, come on.

I'll avenge my son's death. I won't rest until you're

dead.

You'll do what you think you have to but you've got the

wrong person.

We'll head toward Corinth and see if we can make any sense

of what he was saying.

Is that Shego?

I think it's her.

Are you all right?

See that look of fear and hatred on their faces?

Yeah.

I used to wanna see that look. It meant I was doing my

job right.

Shego!

Yeah?

Josh, the Mighty, at your service.

Get lost!

You know, a warrior needs wait listen. Don't judge me

because I was traveling with those sheep. I can be of

invaluable service to a woman like you. Yeah as a matter of

fact, um I'm a warrior of some repute.

Hmm! I never heard of you.

Listen, I wasn't talking to you, little girl.

Hey!

Now, listen I'm fierce and I have a lust for blood. As

a matter of fact, if a couple of days go by and I haven't shed

some blood, I get very depressed. Blood and me go together

like a horse and chariot. I once bathed in a tub of blood. My

nickname is 'Bloody Josh.'

You like the sight of blood so much, keep talking.

I'm disappointed in you, Shego! I thought you'd recognize

talent when you saw it! Oh she must be threatened. I can

understand that what, with my masculine prowess and stuff.

You're a slow learner.

I don't care how long it takes. I will see you dead one

day.

You know if she was the monster you think she is, she'd

have killed you by now.

She likes to see me helpless in my rage. I will continue

to hunt you even if it costs me my life.

I'm going after whoever's behind these raids. So, be

smart, and stay out of my way.

Goodbye, Ned. I hope you find peace.

I will once I know her evil heart has stopped beating.

You want it? Come and get it.

Act 2

They fight throughout.

I'm good! As good as you and why not? You made me.

It was you who shot me with that poison dart.

Yes you see, it left me free to revive your reputation

as a wonton killer of women and children.

I never killed women and children.

Well you have now.

What did you mean when you said, 'I made you.'?

Do you remember Cirra?

I've just blocked off the flow of blood to your brain.

You'll be dead in seconds unless I release you. Who was that

woman? Don't bother struggling. Just spit it out.

Her name is Ron!

What's she got to do with Cirra?

Her family died there!

What does Ron want? Answer the question or I just

walk away.

She wants the world to see you as the demon! Then, she

wants to kill you in combat!

Where's she headed?

Delphi she plans to murder the oracle and blame it on

you!

When?

At tomorrow's Apollo sacrifice!

Now remember to tell her this. She's right, I made

her and I'll be the one to destroy her. Be careful; I am in

a bad mood!

I saw everything. I know now it was not you who killed my

son. I'm sorry.

Save your breath. I don't want your apology.

Let me travel with you. I'll do anything to help you kill

her.

I don't need your help.

Look I'm gonna go after her anyway. Why not work with

me?

I suppose I could keep you from getting killed.

Enough!

Ron!

So she put her touch on you?

Right away.

And you told her everything?

Everything just as you wanted.

Good and then she she let you go with some stupid

message something heroic about stopping me, huh?

Yes you were right about everything.

Oh oh, Shego, Shego I can call your every move.

Ow, ow, watch the suit, would ya? Ooh, ooh!

We found this scum hiding in the supply wagon we stole

from the other village. He says he has something invaluable to

offer you.

Warrior Queen forgive my intrusion.

'Warrior Queen' I like that.

It's so much better than 'Warrior Princess' you know.

Ha ha ha ha.

Yes yes it is. Now what is it you have to offer me?

My services.

Your services really? And what is it exactly that you

do hmm?

Ha ha ha ha ha. What do I do? I'm a warrior!

Oh, you're a warrior. How silly of me. And why is it,

dear man, that you look like an idiot, then?

Amm, I cultivate that look- to make me seem less

threatening. You see, uh- people don't fear worthless idiots,

so it's easy for me to get the drop on 'em. Hah! See?

So, you want to do something to prove yourself to me,

then?

Anything please.

Hmm you know who Shego is, don't you? She travels with

someone.

An irritating little blond I know.

Yes, her name is Kim.

Mouths Kim.

You bring her to me- and you may join my legion as a

warrior.

Consider the deed done, my Queen. We're we're all on

the same team, now.

Who knows? He might be able to capture the brat. But

even if he doesn't, every distraction for Shego will help me

carry out my plan. It's almost close to completion, Malcolm.

Tomorrow at Delphi Shego's weapon will be found- in the

oracle's skull.

When was the last time you got some sleep, Ned?

The night before I buried my son.

Why don't you lay down and close your eyes? You might

drift off.

Drift off. You don't get it, do you? I don't want to

drift off. I'm not trying to run away from the pain. I want

to satisfy it. And the only way I can do that is with

Ron's blood. You'd feel the same way if you lost what I

did.

Maybe. Do you wanna talk about it?

What?

Cirra.

It was just another village to conquer nothing out of

the ordinary. The fire broke out- and I don't know if it was

one of my men or just an accident, but, there was a strong

wind, and- those flames just swept through that town like a

wave of death. But the people were huddled in their houses,

'cause they were afraid of my army. That was one time when my

army was responsible for the death of women and children. And

there was just a handful of survivors; obviously, Ron was

one of them.

You know, she'll do anything for revenge.

I don't blame her.

Uh I do. When will this end? Look at Ned. I know

that he's a good man, but, this hate is making him an obsessed

killer. Somebody has to say no to this lust for revenge.

That is so hard to do.

You did it! When your village was destroyed, you were

infected with bloodlust. But you overcame it!

I was lucky. I saw what I'd become, and I was able to

turn around. But if something happened to Mother, or Felix,

or you- I might do just the same.

No no look, you promise me. If something happens to me,

you will not become a monster. There's only one way to end

this cycle of hatred, and it's through love and forgiveness.

Don't you go changing, Kim. I like you just the way

you are. Go get some sleep.

No no, you promise me.

I promise. Go go on.

The oracle should be arriving soon to give her prophecy.

Let's spread out and look for Ron. Give a yell as

soon as you see her."

Fight between Josh and Kim.

You wanna fight, huh? Fine with me. You made me mad,

now, little girl. Laugh. You've just made a serious

mistake. Laughs. You broke my crossbow! That does it! I'm

gonna rip you apart with my bare hands!

What are you doing? Now, stay down!

Are you kidding, me? I got you right where I want you.

Will you stay down? There's something I gotta do!

Go ahead. Run you coward!

Act 3

Shego chases Ron a lot of yelling.

Get on, Rufus! Come on.

Ah, no, no, no, no, no

No!

Rufus won't obey you, and if you don't stop kicking him,

I'll break your ankles.

Oh, the good Shego. What happened to you? One day you

just decided to fight for justice?

Something like that.

And all the shattered people you left behind were now

supposed to cheer you, is that it?

No. What happened to you was terrible. It was my fault

and I'm sorry.

Oh- well! That makes all the difference. And now, we

can be the best of friends. Spits. That's what I think of

your apology.

Shego! Shego Ned has gone crazy. He's organizing a

lynch mob.

Well, I'm not afraid to die, if that's what you're worried

about. What about you, Shego? How will you feel to see your

creation executed without a fair trial, hmm?

Don't listen to her, Shego. You can't torture yourself

over what she's become.

No, no, no, of course not. No, it's not her fault at all

that I dream every night of my mother's screams coming from

my burning home! You tell me Shego, do you sleep will at

night?

No, I don't.

Good- well I can take whatever it is you think I have

coming to me. But you tell me this, Shego have you ever been

tried for all of the things you have done? Have you ever been

handed over to a mob that wanted your blood?"

What would you do if I let you go?

What are you doing?

I changed; so can she.

No, her heart has been eaten away by hatred.

The sight, just the sight, of Shego, Warrior Princess,

arguing on my behalf amuses me so- let me tell you. Let me

answer your question of what I would do if you let me go. You

let me go, and I will dedicate my life to killing everything

you've loved- your friends, your family, your reputation, even

your horse. You see, I am being so honest with you because

the idea of your pity- is worse than death for me. You see-

you created a monster with integrity, Shego. Scary, isn't it?

Now take me to the mob.

You've done well, Shego. We thank you for bringing her in.

You'll hand her over to us.

I'm taking her to the town jail, where she'll wait for a

fair trial.

She must be punished!

She's a demon!

She's a monster!

Don't worry we'll get her. Yeah! Death to Ron!

Death! Death! We'll get you, Ron! We'll get you!

Shego they're coming. But you know that already, don't

you? What will you do? How many of them will you kill?

You're beginning to hate me. You've fought it because of some

silly sense of guilt, huh? Now, I'm a painful reminder of what

you used to be, and how you may never leave it behind. Ooh

that crowd wants my blood. Why not let them have me? It's the

easy way out. Nobody'll blame you.

Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you without a

fair trial.

You know- there used to be some respect mixed up in my

hatred for you. But tsk, tsk- not anymore. Your petty

scruples are an embarrassment. As a villain, you were awesome.

As a hero, you are a sentimental fool.

Ah hah! Got'cha!

You've gotta be kidding.

Once I have you, I'm trading you for Shego. She'll

reward me well.

Oh, oh, you broke my nose. I hate it when that

happens!

Keep your head back! Use this. Now, why are you

attacking me?

I am a warrior, and I'm trying to make a name for myself!

Well, I've got some bad news for you. You're not a

warrior.

Oh, great hit a man when he's down.

Listen, I've beaten the stuffing out of you both times we

met.

Listen you don't understand. I come from a long line

of warlords! It's like a family tradition!

Well, I'm really sorry, but you don't have that warrior

thing.

You don't think so, huh?

No but that's all right; that's all right. There are

other things you can do. You know what interests you, now?

I like to steal.

Other than that.

I like fishing.

Well, there you go. You'd make a great fisherman.

You think?

Yep, absolutely. And I I've got a feel for people.

Thanks I'm Josh, by the way.

Kim.

Hah! Got you now!

This should bring her out.

Perfect I'm gonna die just like my family. It's kind of

full circle, don't you think? Oh, no, no, no! Not to fear,

Shego I won't be screaming out like my sister.

Come on, we're leaving.

She's kidnapped the girl!

Somebody help!

Act 4

Where is she?

She was right!

What are you talking about?

Kim she said my hate would lead to others being

Hurt.

What are you saying?

Ron captured Kim on her way out of town. I've

betrayed everything I believe in.

People like us should listen to people like Kim.

Hurry, now!

So- what do you think?

I think Shego's gonna wipe the floor with you.

I share your respect for Shego's abilities. I know what

she's capable of.

Then you must be scared witless.

Not at all. I relish the challenge. I can take her.

In your dreams.

Well when she gets here, she'll have such a sweet

surprise waiting for her. Anyways either way, I win!

Quit that!

I found this worm sneaking around again!

What do you want? I told you what you had to do to gain

my favor and you failed.

See the girl!

I captured the girl.

I softened her up for you. I mean, just minutes before

you got her, I was pummeling her senseless.

Yes and what were you hitting her with, your nose?

Silence! There is but another way you can prove your worth.

Name it, and I'll do it.

Bring her down. Do her.

Do who?

Her the irritating blonde. Slit her throat.

I uh oh. I uh sl sl slit her slit her

throat?

Yes pierce the skin under the chin with the blade and

tear a hole this way like this.

OK.

Yes.

Listen don't you think she'd be worth more alive? I

mean hey we could trade her for Sh it would make Shego

really mad, really mad. When Shego hears about this, she'll

I want her dead! Do it! Do it!

Yeah. I I I

Just as I thought- the man's backbone is mush. Chain him

up. We'll have fun killing the jellyfish later.

Ah. Hey.

Now, we determine who is the best. You and I in a fight

till death. And to make things even more interesting take

her up!

Take her up!

Do something!

What do you expect me to do?

Shego! Oh, this is really high.

Light it! Anytime you're ready, Shego.

Ladder fight ensues.

Come on Shego! You're almost there! Shego!

Kill her!

Come on, Shego! Go Shego! Hurry! Come on! Hurry!

Wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo, wo!

Come on!

Come on.

Help! Yeah!

The rope's burning! So fall a little to the left!

Hurry!

Hold on, Kim! Hold on; don't panic.

A little higher!

Come on, Kim.

In a way, I'm disappointed, Shego. There was a part of me

that hoped that you would win and put out the rage in my

heart. Sometimes, it even scares me. But then I get over it.

Nooo! Let it burn. Laughs as she falls. No! Noooo! Ohh!

I'm glad you saved Ron.

It was the right thing to do.

The right thing to do that's what they think.


	2. Episode 2 Return of Ron

Episode 2 Return of Ron

All right, time to eat, pigs! Each of the animals

gets a ladleful. Hey! What do yo say, pig?

Thank you.

You got to demand their respect. They're all

murderers, thieves, and perverts. The toughest, baddest men

around. If you get soft with them for a moment- they'll cut

your throat. Now this one is a very, very special case. Watch

what I do. Fill 'er up. What do you say?

Why is she in that contraption?

That's Ron. She's the worst of the worst.

Already crippled three guards. Never let her out of that thing.

Come on what do you say?

I say, before I kill you, I'm going to make you

squeal like a pig, you fat, pathetic piece of dung.

I've put up with your lip for too long! Now what do

you got to say?

Thank you

See, respect I demand it I get it.

This is my lucky night. Yeah! Yeah!

Luck be a lady tonight!

You lose.

Get her!

Ron! Ron! Ron! Ron!

Ron! Ron!

Here, piggy, piggy, piggy, piggy.

Agonizing scream.

Let them all out. The healthy ones will be the beginning

of our new army. Oh and the weak ones- put them out of their

misery, hmm? Oh huh Malcolm bring that with you. I

know someone it will look perfect on.

Ron! Ron! Ron! Ron!

Ron! Ron!

Act 1

Hello, Junior. Not the smartest way to pay us a visit.

Junior!

I just had to see something.

What?

Your face. I haven't stopped thinking about you since the

last time I saw you. Kim we've always been close. You

were my closest friend. And, well Kim, will you be my

wife?"

What have you been doing since you left Troy?

Fighting. That's all I've been doing, it seems. After

Troy, I wandered into another war. One day, I killed three

men. I started to have dreams about all the men whose lives

I'd taken. I couldn't stand it. One night I had my dagger at

my heart. Then I saw something.

What?

Your face.

Junior, I don't know if I'm really who you think I am. I

mean, I fight."

But you never kill. I know that. Kim we were to

be married once. And you decided that that wasn't to be. And

you were right. You were right. I wasn't ready, either. But I

am now. I love you- and if you'll take me I want you to be

my wife."

I'm sorry. I just excuse me OK?

The barrel's ribbed with iron.

Yeah I know that! That's why I chose it!

Anybody can split an ordinary barrel in two! But, Josh the

Magnificent chose an iron ribbed one! You see I like the

challenge of choosing the hardest opponents, huh? The toughest,

the most vicious opponents.

Like them.

Right, just whoa! Whoa! Ron! Don't make me hurt

you.

Josh the last time I saw you, you wanted to join my

army, and now you want to fight me? Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk,

tsk I am so disappointed well I turned good just like Shego.

Yeah? Well, I haven't.

Oh. fumbles for words.

Be a dear, and deliver a message to the good Xena for me

will you?

Sure.

Tell her this. She should have killed me when she had the

chance. For every drop of innocent blood I shed from here on

out is on her hands as well as mine.

OK.

Good boy. Come!

Bye.

So, what's your answer.

No, of course.

Why don't you tell him?

I'm waiting for the right time.

He's a good man.

He is. He's so sensitive and kind. You know I've never

known anyone that I've ever been so comfortable around- besides

you."

Look, Kim if it's me you're worried about, let me

set your mind at rest. Seeing you happy will make me happy.

And if that means settling down with Junior, then you have

my blessing.

Shego! Shego! It's Ron! She's out!

I've missed you, Shego.

You never wrote.

Hmm hmm. Ahhh! Don't move, pretty. That sentimental

side of you is a real problem now, isn't it? You fight with

your heart. That gives me advantage over you. I no longer seem

to have one. I'm not gonna kill you, now oh, no. First, I'm

going to kill your soul just like you killed mine. See you

soon, my sweet. Kiss gesture.

Help!

Help! My baby!

Kim!

Thanks!

I can't do this anymore. If you don't wanna come with me

it's not gonna change the way I feel about you. I love you more

than anything. But I'm done fighting. I'm going home."

But

Where's he going?

The answer's 'yes,' Shego. I'm gonna marry him.

Act 2

May the winds bring forth also good fortune. May the

same force that molded the beauty of these rose petals bless

your union for eternity.

I love you, Kim. I'm so happy.

Oh, Shego.

Congratulations.

Shego.

Junior, congratulations.

Thank you.

Shego.

Before we go, I need to speak with Shego.

I'm sorry.

Take your time.

OK.

Josh.

Huh?

Take a walk.

Oh, right. Hey Junior.

I'm so happy for you.

I'm gonna miss youvso much.

Hey, it's not like we'll never see one another again. I'll

visit you all the time.

You promise?

I'll be knocking on your door so often, you'll be sick of

me.

Hmm never.

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom!

Listen.

You know, I think I fell in love with him at Troy.

No kidding.

Huh.

Kim I am not going to let_ you say goodbye.

That's not what this is. We'll see one another again soon.

Hah, hah.

You ready, sweetheart? Shall we?

Hah ha ha!

Goodbye, Kim.

You're gonna miss her, aren't you?

Yeah. I'm more worried about her missing me, though.

She's gonna be all alone. I have you.

That makes you happy?

Very I if we have a daughter, do you think we can

name?

Shego I wouldn't have it any other way."

Ah Junior? I've I've never been with a man, before.

Have you? Been with women?

Uh well I was I was a soldier, and.

I don't need to hear anymore.

Does that bother you that I've I've been with other

women?

A little. But I guess one of us should be good at it.

Hey I never said that I was good at it."

Hello, Malcolm. We've been through all this before. But

in case you don't remember the details, you'll be dead in

seconds if you don't tell me where Ron is.

I don't know where she is.

Wrong answer.

That's the truth! She left hours ago.

Come on, Malcolm. She knew I was coming. She's much too

good a hostess not to be here to greet me.

I'm telling you the truth. When I told her you were

travelling without Kim she said, 'Perfect,' and left.

Junior I know what love is, now. It's life.

Everything is united by love alone.

Oh love, love, love, love. Oh, it unites, you're right.

And hate divides. Let's see which one's stronger, shall we?

What do you want? We're unarmed.

Good that makes things simple then, doesn't it?

Junior! Junior?

Nighty-night. I longed to see you wailing over the body of

your friend.

Well, it's not going to happen.

Hmm?

No! No! Junior.

That'll do.

No, Junior! Oh! No! Shego! Oh, no! Oh, no, no,

Junior."

Act 3

That's the last one.

What do you mean?

From here on out all I want on my hands is Ron's

blood.

Kim leave Ron to me. You need time to mourn.

I have the rest of my life to mourn. I want to see her

dead.

Kim.

In the morning, I'm going after her. Now, the question is,

are you going to come with me, or not?

Kim.

Is it time?

Yes.

I'm ready.

Kim, when we find her, don't go up against her one on

one. You'll be dead in seconds.

If she dies with me- that'll be fine.

Not with me it won't. Besides, she'd chop you into little

pieces before you even struck a first blow.

That's because you never taught me how to use a sword.

Now, that's going to change- right now. I want a lesson.

No.

Why?

Because I won't help you destroy all the ideals that you

live by.

My ideals were a lie. I thought love was the strongest

power on Earth. What a fool. Love is helpless in the face of

cruelty.

Kim, if you're taken over by hatred Ron wins.

I've got news for you, Shego. She's already won. Now, show

me how to use a sword.

Not a chance.

Shego! Teach me."

No.

Teach me. Teach me! Teach me!"

I won't do it.

Shego, wake up and look around you! The little innocent

Kim is dead, and there's no getting her back. Just teach

me how to use a sword, so, at least I stand a fighting chance.

Please.

All right, pick it up. First thing, is that your sword

is not a staff. You have to learn how to parry so you can look

for an opening. And keep eye contact. That's how you

anticipate the next move.

OK. Again. Again. Again! I'm gonna kill her. Again!

Teach me. Teach me! Teach me. Again. Again! Teach me how to

kill her, Shego. I'm gonna cut her open and watch her bleed.

I'm gonna kill her, Shego! Teach me how to kill her."

A beverage, my Queen.

You know I don't drink intoxicants, Malcolm.

I thought maybe just this once.

No I like to experience life in all its agonizing glory.

I don't want to dull the sensations in any way.

What?

You're not falling in love with me, are you?

And what if I was?

I'd have to kill you. Love is a trick that nature plays to

get us to reproduce. I want no part of it.

Where is she? She should be back by now. I'm going.

No, you're not. They're having a party up there. If we

wait until dawn, half of them will be passed out. And then, I'm

going in after Ron. I found an unguarded passage.

What am I supposed to do?

Stay here. If Ron comes out, I won't be far behind,

and don't try and take her on one on one.

I don't think so.

Listen, if you really want Ron to get what's coming to

her, you do it my way."

If anyone's listening- you know, I'm not much for praying.

But I don't know what else to do. I was ready to give up once,

and Kim came into my life. Please don't let that

light that shines out of her face go out. I couldn't stand the

darkness that would follow.

Shego.

Yeah?

You were right. I need to mourn. I'm going home.

Yes yeah, that's the best thing to do. Rest grieve.

I'll take care of Ron, I promise.

I know. But, if you don't mind, I think I'll set out right

now.

OK.

Goodbye.

It's time.

You know, Shego, I know you don't think very much of me

and that's fine. But I care about Kim, too. And I would

do anything to avenge her loss, including sacrificing my own

life.

You've got a good heart, Josh but take my advice, and

keep it far away from Ron.

Act 4

No look, you promise me. If something happens

to me, you will not become a monster.

But you never kill. I know that. I love you.

Don't let that light that shines out of her face go out.

Now speaking for real. I don't understand you. After all

I did you still can't kill me.

I won't take a life even yours. I'd rather die.

Oh, but you will.

Get it over with.

Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm going to make a grand show of your

death. And I'll need an audience who will truly appreciate it.

Don't move!

Welcome.

Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. It's a nice fit, don't you

think?

Don't get too fond of it.

How are you gonna get out of this one, Shego hmm?

It ain't over till it's over.

Oh, but it will be, soon. You're about to watch the

friendship of your life go up in smoke. Hmm I envy her in a

way. She gets to leave this life so pure. I wonder if I could

have been her. Burn her. Oh, don't bother struggling, Shego.

Be thankful for that beautiful throne. It'll give you peace if

you let it.

I'm coming, Shego!

Fight ensues throughout.

What could you possibly have been thinking?

I'm here to save my friends.

That's all it'll take. She's escaping! Don't

just stand there, get her! Run for your lives! Somebody,

stop her!" "Get away while you can!

Oh, how I do love watching you work. Looks like we're at a

standstill. How good are you at chariots, Shego hmm?

Get her, Shego!

Yah! Yah!"

Yah! Yah! Yah! Get on, yah! Yah! Yah!

Yah! Yah!

Yah! Yah! Ron! Yah!

Yaaaah!

Yah! Yah! Yah!

Yah! Yah! Yah! Yah!

Yah! Yah! Yah! Yah!

Yah! Enjoying the ride, Shego? Aaaah! Want to go faster?

Laughs. We're both gonna die, Shego. How wonderful. We can

spend the rest of eternity in Tartarus, together hmm?"

Always the optimist.

Oh, you're good, Shego. Shego help me. Shego! Shego.

Please Shego. Help me please? You can't just let me die,

Shego. Shego. Shego. I'm counting on you. Help me. Help me!

Help me! Shego! Aaaaaah!

Oh honestly, how bad is it?

Terminal.

No, really."

Not bad. But it'll leave a nice scar."

Yeah?

Yep, Josh, you're a brave man.

Yeah, I mean yeah. You know, Shego, I was thinking a

warrior of my quality should let you off the hook. I'm setting

off on my own. I'm sorry.

I'll live.

Josh the Good the Warm; Josh the Valiant."

What were you doing?

Loving him.

He'll hear your thoughts.

I know forever and ever.


	3. Episode 3 Intimate Stranger

Episode 3 Intimate Stranger

She's over here.

Are those men with Malcolm?

Yes, they're sure to be heading back to him. You OK?

Yeah just anything to do with Ron.

I understand. That's why he has to be brought to justice

all of Ron's men. Think you can find your way back to Argo

in the dark?

Yeah.

Daughter.

Mother.

Welcome home, Shego.

What are you doing here?

You're on your way to Amphipolis. I came out to meet

you.

But, I'm not. This is dangerous. You shouldn't be here.

But you are coming home back where you're loved and

needed- back where you belong.

Who are you?

Mm hm mm.

Ares. What do you want?

Want? Well, I told you I just wanted to welcome you back

into my fold.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

I'm talking about your execution of Ron.

That's not what happened.

No? Didn't you serve as judge, jury, and executioner? Or

am I missing something? A young girl was before you. She had

committed breathes in. unspeakable crimes but, just like

you. You were given a chance to reform a chance you never

gave Ron.

Shego, help me, please. Don't let me die. You

can't let me die. I am you.

No.

Who are you to judge the things I've done? I can change,

Shego. I can change. You did- I can. Please help me. Hurry,

help me! I'm scared, Shego. Please, please.

No, Ares no!

Help me. Screams.

Kim, wake up. Kim, wake up.

Shego come on. You can't go on like this.

Kim do you think I executed Ron?

No I think that you did what you had to do."

These dreams- they're all about her. Ares taunting me,

saying that I murdered her. That I never gave her a chance to

change.

Ron chose her own path not you. I'm sure that,

maybe, there was some goodness that could be mined, but it

wasn't your responsibility. Just because you didn't try to

change her- just because you didn't show her the mercy that

other people have shown you, doesn't make you a murderer.

What are you saying?

I'm saying, that if Felix had treated you- the way that

you treated Ron you'd be dead now. And you deserve it

more than her. After all, she didn't create you.

Act 1

Gabrielle, do you dream?

Yeah. I used to have the most vivid dreams. You know, my

best stories came from them. I haven't dreamt once since

Junior died. The stories just aren't there, anymore. What's

the matter? Are we on the right trail?

Yes. Looks like they're headed toward that deserted

village over the river. But someone else is following

Malcolm and that someone's gonna get himself killed.

Why were you following me?

To bring you to justice! The same way Shego and I

brought Ron to justice.

Ron? All she could ever think about was Shego! And

it got her killed.

Oh.

What do you say, boys? Shall we see what the mighty Josh

is made of from the inside?

Oh, no, no! No, wait, wait wait a minute! You don't

you don't want to kill me! You're gonna need a hostage for the

Athenian army.

That's Shego!

And the entire Athenian army!

Regroup, into the woods, now!

Yeah I'm really getting mad, now! That's right, 'cause

you're dealing with Josh, the Magnificent! Don't worry. I

cleared the place out for you.

They're gone.

Are we going after him?

No, not in the darkness.

Right behind you.

They won't get far we'll camp here.

I'll get the blankets.

Mmm.

Hello. Hello!

Calm down, Josh We saw ya.

Great! Well, you think you can cut me down, without

dropping me flat on my face?

No.

I let her die, Kim. At the time, I thought it was

justice, but, I don't know now.

This is such a mess. You wish you hadn't killed her; Josh

wishes he had killed her; and I wish she had never been born. I

guess Ron won after all.

Shee goo.

Hello, Shego. Oh, how I've missed you. Do you know how

boring Tartarus can be? Same old torture every day, every day.

Makes me appreciate what we had.

This is a dream.

Oh you're only half right. Dreams are the fine line

between the real world and the Underworld. And with a little

help well, that line can just disappear.

What kind of help?

Help from a god, perhaps.

What are you doing, Ares? What's your plan?

My plan? My plan is what it's always been to find that

one special warrior who'll lead the world into peace and

prosperity.

Me.

Uh, no not anymore. Funny I never really got to know

Ron until after you killed her. She has potential.

I didn't kill her, Ares.

Oh, keep telling yourself that, dear, and maybe, someday,

you'll believe it. See, you let me sink into the quicksand.

What's the difference?

Personally, I always preferred an up-front, face to face

killing worthy of a warrior. Simply allowing someone to die

doesn't soften it. You murdered her and it's time you

admitted it.

All right! I am guilty of murder.

I've been waiting for you to say that.

Kim wake up. I understand, now.

Ron is free. Somehow, she's back, and she's working with

Ares.

What are we gonna do? If Ares

We have to go to Amphipolis. I can't explain it, but

that's where she's headed.. She wants revenge. I think she's

going to kill my mother. No Josh will only get himself

killed. Gather up our things.

Welcome back, Ron.

Ah I wonder how Shego's enjoying her new surroundings.

Laughs.

Ron!

Act 2

Come on. Come on, girl.

Ron's going back to get her army. But I'm going to

beat her to it. If I can remove Malcolm from power, then,

maybe they'll be just stupid enough to follow me.

What's the matter, boy? Something's wrong with Rufus. I

think you should take his reins.

No, no, you hold he his' picking up on my feelings.

She was like this the last time I went up against Ron.

Kim I have something important to tell you. You

should've killed Ron.

What?

I was wrong. You had every right to, not me. For me, it

was murder. And the guilt is going to destroy me. I don't

think I can do it again.

It's up to me? Is that what you're saying?

No, Kim. But she's going to try and kill my

mother.

She has to be stopped.

Well, I can do that, but, what then? I've never felt

so helpless.

This is ridiculous. What you're saying is

impossible, and it's exactly what I'd expect of you, Ron.

She got to me through my dreams, Hades through my

guilt. And Ares is helping her."

Guilt that is possible. The dead can invade the dreams

of the guilty. Oh you're smart so smart. No wonder Shego

had to kill you. No, Ron Tartarus is your eternity.

I was down here with Wade, remember?

That's no secret. You'll have to do better than that.

I stabbed Wade in the heart because I love him. You

saw it. How many people would know that but you?

No one, except Wade, and he wouldn't tell anyone. I

can't believe Ares would do this. He's really overstepped the

bounds this time.

If you help me, we can defeat him.

You? Your guilt allowed her to escape, Shego. You're not

totally innocent here. I will give you one full day. After

that, someone goes back to Tartarus. Take it or leave it."

Again! Again! Come on, Kim, focus on your enemy.

This is new for me, OK?

It is not new; it's just buried. You had that fire when

you went up against Ron the first time, remember?

Yes, I remember! I don't want to go there, again. I can't

do this, Shegi. Killing it the idea

That is not what we're talking about. Ron is

already dead. We need to send her back to Tartarus. Now, come

on. This is your weapon and this is your enemy. Now

strike! Come on, Kim. Brace with your back foot and

lunge with your whole body. All right, Gabrielle. I'm

Ron right here in front of you. I just look like Shego,

but really, I'm Ron. So, kill me. I said, kill me, little

girl! Come on, right here in the chest. Put me out of my

misery! You are pathetic! Remember, I killed your love. I

took my sword and _stuck_ it through him, and I felt his warm

blood on my hand. You can't even avenge his death. Coughs.

Very good, Kim! I'm sorry I had to do that but you had

to face it, and well you weren't going to fight there without

it, were you?

I think I'm gonna be sick. For a moment there, I thought

you were Ron and I I hated you.

Well, hatred's not something to be feared. It's a part

of all of us. And for some of us, it's all we ever really know.

I know that was hard, and I'm very proud of you. Now, you stay

here and wait rest a while I deal with the scum who's

been following us."

Oh, very good, my sweet. Oh you're gonna be so good-

once I finish training you. What are you doing with that girl?"

That's my business. I have plans for her.

Stop thinking of revenge. Xena has already escaped the

Underworld. Don't you even think of taking her on.

Don't even think of stopping me.

Oh Hades has given Shego one day. After that, she'll take

your place in Tartarus for eternity. You're only to avoid her

until then. Now, kill the girl and move on.

First things first, Ares. I promised you my allegiance.

I promised you an army to rule the world. You promised me

satisfaction!

I did, didn't I?

Who was following us?

Oh, just one of Malcolm's men. Don't worry, I scared

him off. We have to get moving.

Right I'll get Rufus.

No no, Rufus has to stay here. He hasn't been his self.

I don't want him getting hurt because of me.

Are you sure? I mean, he's been a little skittish. I

just

Kim, let's get moving along. I have to get Rufus'

bridle off and, and hide the saddle. You go on. I'll catch

up. You can't figure it out, can you? I look like Shego; I even

smell like Shego. But, something tells you I'm not. Poor, dumb

animal. You don't know what's going on. You don't know whether

to run or stay. Well you should've run."

Act 3

Rufus. It's gonna be OK, boy, it is. I'm so sorry.

What did she do to you? Hold still hold still. Easy, boy.

OK. It's OK. I know what she was trying to do. But, it's not

gonna work. Josh.

Stay back; I mean it. That's Shego's horse. And I don't

know what you did to her, but I'm not gonna give you the chance

to finish the job.

Josh, put your sword down and I'll explain.

Over my dead body maybe.

OK, Boy this is gonna hurt a bit. But I have to put

this against your lung.

Oooh!

Josh, listen to me, and listen good! I am not Ron!

It's me Shego. Ron's working with Ares. I only have one

day less, now.

Prove to me, then, that you're Shego.

Have you ever seen Ron use pressure points?

No OK! OK! You're Shego. Release it! Release it! OK,

OK, OK. You're Shego, then. So did- did you, I mean

Ron whoever try to kill Rufus?

No she knew it would be more painful if I had to put

Rufus down. But I know a few things she doesn't. Rufus won't

die. Thank you for trying to protect him. Only someone with

a brave heart would stand up to Ron for a horse.

Well, um it's OK, 'cause, you know- I do have a brave

heart, and I'm you know, um a pretty big guy, and

everything, and you're welcome."

It's Shego!

No don't give her a reason. Put the swords away. She's

no threat if we're no threat.

Is that what you think of me?

Oh, yes, Shego. You only kill when threatened- some sort

of code you have. Ron gave you an excuse to kill her, but

not me. So we talk.

Talk I don't really feel like talking.

Then, get out of here or just kill me in cold blood.

Laughs.

Yeah, Shego kill him!"

Hmm! Oops! Gressius who will you follow, now?

You, Shego Warrior Princess."

Well?

Shego! Shego! Shego! Shego! Shego!

Enough! Take my army to Amphipolis. Capture the town,

and bring everyone here. Don't forget a soul, understand? And

don't kill anyone.

Yes, Shego.

What? What is it?

I don't know I can't tell yet in this body. But I

think someone's Josh , take a nap.

Aaaaaah! Ah ah ah ah I'll just catch it and throw it

back.

Where's Kim?

Kim? Kim? Oh, well, I'm Shego now. So she's

my little friend. Of course, if anything ever happened to

Kim, pretty Shego would be crushed, wouldn't I? Maybe

something has already happened to Kim. Maybe I've already

killed her, and hung her up from that tree.

Fight.

Ooh, I like that move.

Ron!

Go on. You can take her out with the dagger or you can

let her kill you. Looks like someone's going to die- and

either way, I win.

Act 4

Kill her, Kim, hurry!

Kim, wait! Listen to me. I'm going to tell you

the impossible! I'm Shego!

She's up to something, Kim; don't trust her.

Rom tricked me with my guilt! She's working with

Ares.

Remember Junior.

You killed Junior!

Ask her if she knows your dreams, Kim! Remember?

You told me all you could dream about since Junior died was

what? Ask her!

What was it? What was I dreaming?

She's trying to trick you.

What was it?

You've been dreaming of this moment the moment you

finally get to avenge his death.

No, Ron. Kim hasn't dreamt anything since you

killed Junior.

Shego? Shego? Are you really Shego?

Yeah.

But, how could she?

I'll explain later.

I almost killed you."

It's me, Josh.

Just a reflex. Ron she got away from me again,

didn't she?

We have to hurry. I don't have much time before Hades

calls me back to Tartarus."

Shego Ron has your village. She's taking them to a

a cave.

To use 'em as hostages?

N she wants my village to die the same way hers did

by fire. And she wants me there to see it.

So, what's the plan?

We have to get some things first. Ron used my guilt

to betray me. I have to turn that back on her.

Get in there! Get in the cage!

Is this everyone?

Everyone we could find.

Get the torches ready and stand by. Sh Ron is

coming. And when she gets here, we'll burn them all.

Understand?

No, but it will be done.

Shego? Shego. What are you doing? Please let's

go.

Look into my eyes, old woman. Shego's not home.

Who are you?

Just another loving daughter. That woman make sure the

first torch lands at her feet. Come on, Shego. You don't have

much time. Come to me, Shego. Oh, it's you.

What do you think you're doing? If you can just wait,

you'll have it all. In a short time

In a short time, Shego will be back in the Underworld, and

I won't have my satisfaction.

You think you know her but you don't. I do, and you are

giving her ever opportunity to beat you! Now, I forbid this!

You? Forbid me? No one, god or man, forbids me from

doing anything. All my anger all my hatred it's for Shego,

alone. When I'm done with her, you can have what's left. I

won't care.

This was not my plan.

Funny, it was always mine. Yes, I used you. But you can

still claim victory if you let me finish what I came here for.

You're on your own, then.

It's oil! Put out your torches!

Stand your ground! I said, stand your ground!

We'll be burned alive! Let's get out of here!

Where? To the river! Come on! Run! Waste

no time! We'll all be killed! Away! All right!

Shego time's not on your side. Show yourself.

Fight.

It's happening, Ron.

No, I still get my revenge. If Hades takes you down to

the Underworld you'll still know that I killed her.

Shego you put me to sleep. This is a dream.

You're only half right, Ron. As you said the

dream is the border between the real world and the Underworld.

It makes no difference. I can still wake up from this

nightmare. And I will have no guilt to make my dreams

restless.

Don't you?

Mm mm. However evil you think I am, Shego my soul is

clean, because it's all on you. You started this when you

killed my family.

Are you thinking of your family now? Because when you

think of the dead

the dead can hear you.

Mama? Look at her, Shego. You look at my mother! She's

here to remind you of your past.

No I'm not here because of Shego. I've come because of

you.

Me?

Yes. Every time you killed you were killing me.

How many of your victims had faces, Ron? How many

had families? Sons and daughters who loved their parents. How

many were just like your mother when they died at your hand?

No no, you can't make me feel guilty.

You're right. Only you can do that.

Mother.

I've got my own past to deal with. But I'm not taking

the weight of your crimes anymore.

Look around you. These people didn't need to die.

No no, you go away! I didn't do anything! She did it!

Not me!

You can't shut it out. It's like a crashing wave. Once

it starts, there's no stopping it.

I love you, Ron. You'll always be my daughter.

You have to face your crimes.

No, no!

Hold it! Don't move. Who are you?

It's me, Kim Shego.

How do I know that?

A long time ago, you told me the cycle of hate has to

end and the only way to end it is through love. It's a hard

lesson to learn. Ron couldn't possibly know or understand

that.

Shego.

It's great, 'cause it's hey, remember, thee um you

guys? Oh I helped.

You'll be OK, Rufus. No, no don't bother thanking me. I

was just risking my life for you, is all. You know when Shego

was Ron I mean when Ron was Shego. And

Josh.

Yeah? Ah!

It's me, Josh.

Right I was just testing.

Get used to it I'm in her body.

Right! Of course you are!

Again, I want to thank you for protecting Rufus. You were

very heroic.

Well you know? Us heroes got to stick together,

'cause, when I come in, it's two swords blazing, and then, and

yeah? Ah!

Calm down.

I'm calm see? Nerves of steel.

I'm sorry it took so long. I didn't want to get out of

bed. Did you sleep?

Yeah we better get going.

Wait. So, this is it? I mean, you're just in there to

stay?

Looks like it. Kim, this can't be easy for you.

If you don't want to come with me, I understand.

No, it it's gonna take some getting used to. I mean of

all the bodies to be stuck in, why did it have to be Ron?

Try not to think of the hatred you have for this body

for Ron. Try and think of the love that you have for

Junior.

I'll try. I dreamt a wonderful story last night. Do you

want to hear it?

I'd love to.

Mm hmm. I sing the song of Junior the boy I knew the

man I loved."


	4. Episode 4 Ten Little Warlords

Episode 4 Ten Little Warlords

Kim, wake up. It's all right,

it's me.

Shego you know, I don't know if I'm gonna get used to

this. It's so weird having your best friend in the body of your

worst enemy. Could you dye your hair?

Shh!

Hey! It's only a suggestion. Josh?

Quick response good! Next time I test your

defenses, I'll make even less noise on purpose.

What are you doing here, Josh?

I'm here to deliver a message for Ron. I thought she

might be interested. I mean, uh for, uh Shego, the, eh did

you get the hang of this yet?

About half the time.

Yeah.

Why would I want Ron's messages? Burn it.

Not this one How often do you get a personal invitation

from the god of war? Ares sent out ten scrolls; one of 'em's

for Ron. Ah I've got it around here somewhere. Hey!

Is that it?

Yeah who are you supposed to be, a fierce warrior

trapped in the body of Kim?

Ares didn't send this invitation; he knows Ron's

dead and I'm in her body. But, I'd like to know who did send

it and why.

So would I; when do we leave?

Kim and I leave at first light. With all of the

warlords passing through, Josh, the people around here may need

you in case a panic breaks out.

Yeah, my presence would inspire confidence, wouldn't it?

Well, thanks, Ro uh Shego uh oh.

Relax, just go with it.

Right.

There's another one. His name's Tegason.

And the human wall walking toward him? Who's that?

Some piece of work, huh?

So, what does that make it now? Five so far?

And these two are bitter enemies. When they meet, it's

like throwing oil on a raging fire.

Let's go in there and find out why Ares sent for them. You

could you could put the pinch on one of those bastards and

just

Hey calm down. Now, let's see what happens.

Yuck where were they raised, in a barn?

Shh. Wait.

Hmm! Some raging fire. Look! They're teaming up.

I'm gonna follow.

Yeah, let's go in there and start kicking some a

Kim, what, did you sleep on a rock again? Go get

something to eat and try and relax.

Fishcakes, fishcakes, lovely fishcakes. Six for a

dinar, six for a dinar. Fishcakes, lovely fishcakes lovely

fishcakes, dearie, six for a dinar.

Fishcakes?

Would you like one?

Oh, I'd

They're really good.

They're good, but a little bony. Mine are scrumptious,

and ten per dinar.

Ten.

Twelve per dinar, dearie.

Twelve.

His are as chewy as seaweed.

Hey, she's my customer.

She's my customer.

I wanna fishcake!

No, they're mine!

Lady, I was here first!

Ahh! Put me down! Ah! Ahh!

?, I ordered the lobster!

Where's my fishcake? All right, where's my bargain?

Who started this? More warlords?

No, them.

Ron! Spare us! We don't want any trouble!

Her! Huh! Forget about her! Me, on the other hand. Why,

I

Kim.

Ah! Shego, let me go, I can stop 'em.

You can't stop everyone come on.

All right!

Innocent people turned violent; bloodthirsty warlords on

their best behavior. What's going on?

Barkeep! You got a couple of thirsty customers over here.

Ares See what happens when the god of war takes a

holiday? Well, more like, forced retirement. Hello, Shego!

Oh what's the matter? Don't you recognize an old friend?

Ares.

Yeah.

Act 1

Ares, are you telling me you're mortal? I don't believe

you.

Humililating sic, isn't it? But what self respecting god

of war would do this? BELCH.

That's great 'cause I've always wanted to slap

Get away from me! Oh! Woh! Pain so that's what it's

like not so bad, really.

Hah, you like it, huh? Well, there's plenty more where

that came from. Hey! Hey!

Put some wine on that cloth. Press it to your cut. Up

you go! Who did this to you? Zeus?

All I know is someone stole my sword. It must have been

while I was preoccupied with you and Ron. The next thing

I know, I'm down here exiled deposed.

Ah, you're breaking our hearts.

Kim, give us some room.

OK but if you need any back-up, you yell. Out of my

way!

Not usually so contentious, is she? Damnit, I like it!

Oh, uh I would've switched you back into your old body, but,

I, uh lost my sword. Too bad not that you don't wear

Ron magnificently.

I just hope she's being as good to me in Tartarus.

Oh, she's behaving. Laughs.

So, who sent for the ten warlords in your name?

I don't know. But I'm gonna find out.

Hey! Hey! Who do you have to punch to get a drink around

here?

Here, take my invitation.

I don't want your invitation. I want you to help me get

my godhood back."

And why would I do that?

Well, I could put you back into your old body. Come on

Shego, you must miss staring into those baby blues every time you

pass a mirror."

My body doesn't make me who I am. My deeds do and I

don't plan on letting the god of war back in business.

What is this? Fish fry? Give me the good stuff.

What do you thinks happening to your friend? To these

pathetic villagers? Without a sitting god of war, peaceful

people have lost the self-discipline to control their anger.

Come on, huh? I rest my case.

Just so you know, you've got thirty s.

If that's true, how come I haven't lost control?

Hmm! That's the really interesting part. You see those

who have learned to channel their anger, just get more and more

focused. But people who have no experience with violence

totally lose it. Hey! Laughs.

Come on, Kim, let's go.

Good idea.

Oh, you may despise me, Shego. But a godhood is a sacred

trust. Oh, you'd love to live in a world without war, I know

that. But, without me, you're about to experience a world

without peace for anyone, anywhere. Now, you just think about

that, Shego! Whoa!

What a loser. Let's get back to the action. What do you

say?

You're right, you know. You can't trust Ares. Now, here there are many gods on Mt. Olympus, and there's got to be one

that can help switch you back into your own body. Of course,

you know, he won't make it, not with those warlords. Hmm! Who

wouldn't want to make their rep by wasting the god of war? Or

ex-, or otherwise? I hope that it's slow and painful a taste

of his own medicine."

Try and get some sleep.

Who can sleep? Now, I know what it's like to be you!

It's it's exhilarating! Always alert! Ready for a fight!

Trouble could break out anytime!"

Kim, get a grip. You lose control now and there's

no turning back.

You seem to be controlling yourself pretty well.

I've lived with anger longer. Like it or not, it's part

of me.

Get your hands off me.

Do you remember that poem, 'Elysian Fields,' you used to

like so much? Every time you feel angry, I want you to recite

it.

Elysian fields, calm and green; love-birds singing, so

serene.

Kim I didn't mean right now.

I am boiling mad, right now at you! I've got this

overwhelming desire to just knock you upside your irritating

blonde!

I want you to wait here, tomorrow. I'm going with Ares.

You're what?

That's my decision end of discussion.

Get these buckets out of my way, you filthy scum!

Yes, sir.

Now we have two invitations.

One small rule Ares insists all weapons be left

behind.

What if we're attacked?

Ares insists! Refuse you don't sail.

How do we know it's really Ares that sent for

us, anyway?

Tell us that!

Why not say who I am. They should pay me the respect I

deserve.

You wanna find out who's behind all of this, I'd keep a

low profile, if I were you.

Ron I'd heard Shego sent you to Tartarus.

Well, as you can see rumors of my

demise were greatly exaggerated.

I always said Shego was over-rated. Next time I see

her, I'm gonna kick her butt!

If anyone's gonna waste the Warrior Princess, it'll be

me understand?

Don't touch my armor, please. This is hand-pounded.

What do you want?

I heard you were looking for the world's greatest warrior.

Well here I am.

You're the greatest, huh? Well, we'll soon find

out."

No, no he's mine. Aside to Josh: I'm glad

you're here now pretend you're afraid of me and run away.

Why?

You can guard the dock once we're gone.

Screams.

Just don't hurt me, Ron.

Warriors, Ares has prepared a short introduction.

Welcome, I look forward to meeting you

all soon.

That is nothing like my voice.

Before sailing it occurs to me the rules I've set forth

may make sharing close quarters on a crossing a tad

uncomfortable. Let me assure you, the prize at the end of your

journey- will more than compensate. You see, I intend to

retire, and name my heir. Yes one of you will become the new

god of war.

Act 2

Naturally, Ares plans on naming me. Play your

hands right, and I'll choose my lieutenants from one of you

?.

I still say, why would the god of war strip us of weapons?

There's more to this than meets the eye.

I lost track of my kill count years ago at the

siege of Asponica some battle.

I personally smashed the gates at Asponica that blowhard

wasn't even there. If you think the world has seen bad times

before, just wait till one of them gains my mantle.

It couldn't be anymore heartless than you.

I was born a god imbued with the responsibilities of a

god. No mortal who gains possession can handle the power.

Well, excuse me.

Don't expect him to say anything. Last time he met Shego,

her chakram severed his voice box.

He had a dirty mouth.

You hate her, don't you, Ron? Well, you'll like this

story. I once beat her so bad, I had her begging for mercy.

I heard she broke your belt with her chakram, and you

ran away with your behind showing.

Laughs.

Someday

You know, there are certain advantages to being trapped in

the skin of a psycho. If looks can kill, then Callisto has it

down to an, ah art. What is this infernal throbbing in my

head?

It's called a hangover it's the price we mortals pay

for drinking to excess.

And prey, why, is it called a hangover?

'Cause, pretty soon you're gonna hang your head over that

rail?

What are you looking at?

A pitiful excuse for a warrior."

You and Virgilius never met on the battlefield.

Afraid I haven't had the pleasure."

He's awesome committed, decisive, totally ruthless. He

does me proud I'd watch out for him.

Well, I didn't know you cared, Ares. You're so used to

pulling everyone's strings and inflaming their passions. How

does it feel depending on me, of all people?

How do you feel? Allying yourself to the best friend- and

the worst enemy you've ever known? What was that?"

We'll find out.

Kim, you sure Shego wants you following her to the

island?"

Of course she does. Now, just shut up and go over there

way over there."

Charming. There's only one person I know that would

stage a sideshow like this Sisyphus.

I thought Hades had him pushing a rock uphill for

eternity.

Yeah.

Yeah, well he's quite an escape artist.

Greetings,all. I see a familiar face who wasn't invited.

But welcome nonetheless, Ares."

He's Ares. Then, who are you?

An imposter a conjuror with no real powers to fear.

The infamous Ron what a pleasure it is to finally

meet you. Don't forget- I died and descended into Hades'

domain. I'd say my return is something more than a mere

parlor trick. Over here, everyone!"

You stole my godhood!

True but you're free to win it back if you can. My

offer is simple. While escaping from the Underworld, Ares'

sword just happened to fall into my hands. Anyone of you may

claim it. In return for providing the new god of war, I shall

be granted immortality.

I claim the sword me Virgilius.

Nice try! I'm afraid the powers-that-be require a small

test a competition.

What kind of competition?

A duel to the death at sunrise with that monster out there.

It's called the Baracchus.

The godhood of war is an object of worship; it shouldn't be

put up as a prize in some- silly contest."

Oh, I promise you, defeating that monster won't be silly.

You'll all be provided with weapons. Whoever slays the

Baracchus wins Ares' sword. It's that simple.

Nothing's ever that simple with you, Sisyphus or, so

I've heard.

Don't try to look for the sword, Ron; you won't find

it.

Not that anyone was thinking of leaving, but the

boat's gone.

Ah! That's it! Josh can swim back. That's from Shego.

You think you can go off with Ares, huh? Yeah. Josh? Stop

sneaking up on me!

Shego told me to guard the dock, and I figured she meant

this one. Now, come on, the castle's back that way."

The castle is that way. That was the wind, right?

Yeah-sounds like it's hungry.

Six! If somebody kills the Baracchus before me, I

don't even get a turn!

Anybody has a better system, let's hear it.

And what number did you draw, Ron?

Number one.

I'm number two, but I won't settle for second

prize.

Act 3

Come on, get her later.

Gagnon just moved up another five notches.

Laughs. A spirited exercise. Now, I suggest you conserve

your energies for tomorrow. There's food waiting for you in

your rooms upstairs.

This is getting annoying.

We gotta find something to bind that wound. Come on.

See I told you this drainage pipe would lead right into

the castle.

No you wanted to storm the castle. I wanted to try the

drainage pipe. It was me! Me! Me, me, me, me, me, me, me!

You know what? Thatt is _so_ typical of you to say

something like that. What's the matter with you, anyway?

What is the matter with me is what I might do if you don't

shut up.

Ow! Ow. It came from that way. I think we should go this

way.

Oh, no! We go that way.

No, no! You're gonna walk right into the monster!

Yes! He's really rubbing me the wrong way.

Oh, look, the weapons our host promised us how generous.

A dagger and a mace to kill the monster. It doesn't

take an oracle to see that Sisyphus expects us to use them

against each other. Take your shirt off. What?

Well, you're in her body but you still have your touch

warm, firm, passionate yet, at the same time, gentle. Now,

Ron she's all animal. You know, she starts like a cold

fish, but you press the right buttons hold on, it's quite a

ride. Mind you, my experience with her is rather unique. She

was in your body at the time.

When I get my body back, I gotta remember to take a long

bath.

You know, when we were- downstairs fighting- I saw that

old sparkle in your eyes, Shego. Even being in Ron's body

can't hide that. You enjoyed it. What surprises me is I

didn't. You know, it's always come easily, the bloodlust,

the hate this is the first time I've had to suffer the

consequences.

Spare me, Ares.

You don't trust me? I can't blame you, after all I've put

you through. But a taste of mortality has really opened my

eyes. And, who knows? Once I regain my sword, maybe things

will be different.

A kinder, gentler god of war? We both know that's not

gonna happen.

You changed why not me? I never lied to you, Shego. Oh

deceived, manipulated, yeah, but a god need never lie.

But that's just it, Ares you're not a god anymore. So

as much as I'd like to believe you- even if you believe it

all bets'll be off once you get your godhood back. And that's

if you do."

A: "I think you might be surprised about the change you can

inspire in a man or a god.

So that's where I put that thing. Sorry for the

interruption. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!"

I trust you're not looking for an escape route."

No, your sword. Knowing Sisyphus, he probably has it

hidden in plain sight."

A: "Sure you don't want it for yourself? You'd make a

magnificent goddess of war."

Forget it, Ares. How'd you get to be a god anyway?

Don't they have some sort of character requirements?

You miss the point. For the job I have, my character's

perfect. You know where you would shine? As goddess of

desire."

I said, forget it, Ares.

Well, you'd be back in your old body and get to live

forever.

With you? I'd rather die.

This time, I take the feet.

I'll bet he was happy; he died with his sword in his

hands.

Now let's find your sword."

Love-birds singing so serene. We live in peace and love.'

Stop doing that.

What did I do?

Josh it pains me to tell you that, all day long, I have

fantasized about RIPPING YOUR HEART OUT!

You know you don't have to explain to me what you're

going through. I understand it completely. Matter of fact,

when I was your age.

Oh, shut up! Shut up!

Hey, it's just that kind of bloodlust I have to deal with

every day on a regular basis.

To live in peace and love like the gentle.

Whereas, people like you- innocent and sweet don't have

that kind of bloodlust. Whereas, I am the picture of

self-control. Come back here, you little winged thing. I'm

gonna rip your wings off and mash your little body to pie Shh,

shh. Ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha.

Laughs. You've snapped, haven't you?

Come on!

Oh, you want a piece of me? Here, you come one, you

worthless piece of a Centaur.

Look let's not try to kill each other until after I slay

the monster, OK?

All right but I can't wait much longer.

Neither can I.

It's right down this way; just stick with me,

you'll be all right.

Someone's coming. When the door opens, attack!

There it is. Now when I open the door, take him by

Surprise and show no mercy. We were right they were

perfectly matched.

Now, they're perfectly dead.

Screams. Another new experience. I, uh I guess it's

fear.

No, that's surprise you'll know when it's fear.

Look, Shego, um if I don't survive till morning, you must

claim my sword.

I told you, I don't wanna be a goddess.

Just remember the consequences should it fall to those

animals.

I never thought I'd admit it, but you're the right man

for the job.

Too bad 'Ron, goddess of war' has a ring to it or

should I say, 'Shego'? Now, how can you be in Ron's body?

This must be your doing, Ares. Well, Shego, I do hope it is you

who goes up against the Baracchus. Oh, and good news two more

warlords have dropped out.

Which puts you two steps closer to getting someone else

to push that rock in the Underworld. Isn't that right?"

Is that what this so-called contest is really about?

No it's about winners and losers.

Ares, don't!

Thanks for dropping in. Laughs.

Get me down! Oh, great! Sisyphus, I'm warning you! Shego!

Shego! Do something! The walls are closing! Oh!

Act 4

Are you all right?

I've been hanged, swung over a fire, and nearly

shishkabobbed on razor-sharp spikes, yeah! How do you mortals

get from day to day? You know?

Give me the sword! I'm gonna waste that monster.

No, a warrior never gives up his sword!

Oh, knock it off with the warrior crap; now, give me the

sword!

No! Sings. A warrior's sword is he never gets bored

with.

I can't stand it anymore! Warrior this, warrior that!

Hey!

All right, what's Ron want?

Careful, it may be a trap.

It is a trap and Sisyphus has set it. But we can

stop the killing and call a truce.

While you slay the Baracchus and win the sword. I

don't think so.

Don't be fools. Listen to her.

Behold the once-fearsome Ares Ron's new lap-dog.

What a pitiful sight.

Enough talk.

We decided three against two were better odds.

And two against one even better. Next?

I wouldn't turn my back on your new partner, Virgilius.

You can't both be the god of war.

Fight.

A-ha! Prepare to feel the might of Josh the Invincible!

My sword. Ooh. Yells.

Yells. That's it? That's the Baracchus?

Suck on this toothpick for a while!

Somebody's gonna pay for this. Yells.

Ha-ha. Ha-ha, ha- ha. Look at me, now! Ha-ha, ha-ha.

Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha!

Fight.

If I had my sword, I could settle this in a heartbeat.

I know where Sisyphus hid it. This is what everyone's

looking for.

Strange this is the first time I've had blood on my

hands.

Shego use the sword. Slay Ares before he slays you, and

you win.

What about that monster, Sisyphus?"

The monster's dead! I killed it! Meet Josh the new god

of war! You may bow.

Kim, Josh. What are you doing here?

It's a long story. Now Shego, are we gonna fight, 'cause

I'm ready. And I wanna taste blood. Now, forget the monster,

it's a big noise-making thingamajig like him!

Whatever, I conquered it.

Conquer this!

OK.

I knew it. All you ever wanted to do is pit warlord

against warlord.

You wanted my sword for yourself, didn't you?

'Send me ten of the very best warriors,' Hades said.

Hades! I'm gonna have a word with him when I get back to

Olympus.

'When the last dies and replaces you, then, and only then,

will you win Ares' godhood.'

Ares, duck!

You saved me. I won't forget.

Yes, you will.

He's ba-ack.

Sisyphus give my regards to Hades. I couldn't have done

it without you, Xena. But as for mortality you can have it.

It's your loss, Ares. For a while, you weren't just

mortal you were human.

Wait a minute. You promised that Shego would get her body

back if she helped you.

I did, didn't I? Laughs.

Wait! You can't betray her! Come back! Oh, Shego.

So, Ares is back where he belongs. But you're still in

Ron's body. It's wrong.

At least people can control their anger again.

Hey! Last one on the boat has to row! Ha-ha! Ha-ha!

Then, why do I still feel like killing him?

Ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha!"

Shego if Ares doesn't keep his word, and he doesn't switch

you back I'll be there for you, no matter whose body you're

in.

Even a snake-haired gorgon monster?

I'll be there; I just won't look at you.

Kim, I'm proud of you. You felt the anger but you

fought it. It takes a lot more strength to resist the

violence than to surrender to it.

Thank you. Now, if I can just survive the boat-ride with

Josh, I'll be fine.

Trust me, you'll be fine and so will I.

Shego, it's you, right not Ron?

It's me. Go on, test me?

Whose bodies are worse being trapped in than Ron's?

A snake-haired gorgon but not by much."

It is you.


	5. Epsiode 5 Surprise

Episode 5 Surprise

Screams.

Poor Ron. Such rage unfulfilled.

Who are you?

A fan. Your crusade against Shego was so vibrant. Too

bad it had to end unsatisfied. Look at you.

Laughs. Hera? Afraid to show your ugly face?

Laughs. Your irreverence endears you to me like a

pet.

What do you want?

To see you smile again. I offer you another chance to

carry on your mission against Shego.

I'm listening.

I'll give you one more day of life and a chance at

immortality. But if you fail, you're back here forever.

What do I have to do?

Kill my bastard stepson the man who redeemed your

mortal enemy.

Felix. Laughs.

Nothing like the first day of spring, isn't there?

Oh, what a beautiful day sun shining, nature

blooming hoh nature blooming. Come on, Felix. Cheer

up it's your birthday!

Don't remind me.

What is your problem? You look great! For a man of your

age.

What are you talking about? You're older than I am.

Yeah, I know, but I'm I'm smaller, you see so not as

much surface area exposed to the elements.

Felix! Will! Let me be the first to extend

my best wishes on this your special day.

Thanks, Falafel.

I made a delicious cake for the party. You like chocolate

yes?

love chocolate. What party?

Ah the other great big party. Falafel.

Will?

What's the matter? Will you don't look so good.

Yeah it was supposed to be a surprise.

Oh, no. Oh, my sincerest apologies. I didn't know.

That's OK neither did I.

Yes, well if you'll excuse me I must go stuff a

chicken.

Bye.

Oh, come on, Felix. What's one more birthday in a long line

of birthdays?

You're very funny today.

Listen Alcmene wanted to have a little celebration. I

think it'd be great, you know? Um it'd cheer you up."

Look I don't mean to sound ungrateful but ever since Hera

destroyed my family, I'm just not too excited about celebrating

birthdays anymore.

Yeah, well, I understand, but you know, you have to

realize there are other people around who care for you

wanna celebrate with you Iphicles, your mother, me. Huh?

OK.

There you go! See? Smiling little lines crinkle up

around your eyes. Yeah, I better go."

Yeah, you better.

Oh,oh so, remember Alcmene's at noon and, uh try to

act surprised, OK?

I'll act surprised. Wrinkles.

You know Hercules isn't the easiest person to

shop for."

Yeah you know, he gave away the present I got

for him last year."

Thank you. Do you think he'll be surprised?

I'm sure he will.

Yeah, well, I certainly haven't told anybody.

I'll get the food.

I hope he likes his presents.

Hey, don't worry about it, Mom. You've done a great job.

Everything looks beautiful, darling.

Excuse me. I, I I'm sorry to intrude but I

couldn't find a guard to announce me.

We're having a celebration. We sent 'em home for the day.

Who are you?

I've come to pay my respects. Last year my

family was attacked on the road to Macedonia. My husband was

killed. My child and I we would have surely died, if

Felix hadn't come along.

Wait where'd you say this was?

I'd heard it was his birthday. I just wanted to

leave a small gift.

You poor dear. Come join us.

Oh, no I wouldn't dream of imposing.

Oh please you make yourself right at home. Now, would

you care for a drink?

Yes, thanks.

Ah try one of these.

Oh they look great.

Thank you, my friend.

You've outdone yourself.

More punch, anyone?

Ah hello? Is anybody here? Act surprised.

Surprise. Laughs.

Act 1

Mother! Mother! Can you hear me?

My, my looks like somebody spiked the punch. Glad I don't

drink. You've never witnessed the effects of Xanthalian venom

before, have you? It affects the mind makes the victims

susceptible to their wildest imaginings. By sunset, your friends

will be, um driven mad. Well that's if they don't kill

each other first. There is an antidote. But it's very rare."

What do you want?

Safe passage through the labyrinths of the gods to the tree

of life. One bite of the fruit- cures any illness or

madness.

And a whole one makes you immortal.

We have so much to celebrate your birth and my rebirth.

my name's Ron.

Ron impossible Ron's dead.

Hera was kind enough to grant me one day's reprieve. You

See we need each other, Felix. I don't have the strength to

defeat the labyrinth's traps, and you won't find your way

without me. Nice pants.

You're insane.

Just misunderstood. Shall we go partner?

After so little time together, it's funny I feel like I

know you.

You don't.

Fates brought us together although I have to admit, you're

not at all how I imagined you to be.

How disappointing.

Oh not at all. On the contrary, I couldn't be more

pleased. That look, back in your castle? The fire and the hate?

I wonder did you wear that same look when you watched your

children die?

Don't push me.

Oh, but that's the beauty of it I can. There's a new and

exciting side of you just waiting to come out I can feel it.

Oh, what a party.

Felix what happened?"

I don't know. Maybe it was the food.

Hmm? Oh I heard that!

Jason?

Are you all right?

Yes.

Look.

What's going on here?

We've been drugged. Everybody all right?

Where's Felix?

Ah looks like he's been here.

Oh, yeah? Open his presents while we slept? I don't think

so.

Who could've done this?

That woman! Where is she?

Something terrible has happened! I just know it!

Let's not jump to any conclusions. We'll search the

castle.

I'll go with Mother.

Uh-huh.

Will and I will take the west wing."

Yeah.

Wh, wh what about me?

You stay here in case Felix gets back.

By myself?

If anything happens yell.

Yell? Wonderful! Big help!

La-la la-la-la.

Cut it out!

Laughs. Oh, now, now, Felix just because I poisoned

your friends doesn't mean we can't be nice to one another.

Amazing.

You have no reason to be angry at me, Felix. After

all, I'm not the one that hung the giant bull's-eye on your

family.

You leave my family out of this.

Oh, but think about it. I mean well if your children

weren't your children, well, then they'd still be alive now,

wouldn't they? Your love it's a curse.

And, what's the alternative? Be like you? Alone trapped

in your hate? Uh I'd rather take my chances.

Tell me, Felix late at night, in the dark all alone, do

you, uh do you hear your children screaming? Do you lie awake

at night, wondering if there was something else you could've

done maybe if you had gotten there a little sooner, been a

little bit more respectful to Hera.

Drop it! I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand.

Oh, but, I do understand. My family was slaughtered like

helpless animals as well!

You didn't learn much from it, did you?

I learned to get exactly what I want when I want it! And

you realize, Felix, the only reason your friends are still

alive, is because I have allowed it!

And I suppose I owe you thanks?

Oh, no. You owe me all.

This is my fault. I should never have let that stranger

in.

Felix is a big boy. He can take care of himself.

I know you're right. I just so wanted this to be a

special day for him.

Oh-hoh, I bet you did. After all, he is Corinth's most

famous son. You know what? Maybe I'll declare a holiday in his

name. That make you feel better?

Why are you talking like this?

Because he has brought nothing! but trouble to my

kingdom.

How can you say that? He's your brother?

Oh yeah we're one big happy family! Tell me something,

Mother. Who insures your safety, every single day hmm? And

where is Felix through all this? He graces us with his

presence when he's not too busy saving the world.

Iphicles you're you're not yourself.

I'm just not who you want me to be! You think Felix

should've been king. Well, there can only be one king! And

nobody, but nobody is gonna change that! Not even you. I'm

surrounded by infidels!

Mother it's going to be all right.

Oh it's beautiful. Huh well? An open door is like a

friendly invitation. Screams.

You were saying

All who seek passage must first answer my riddle.

Fail, and you will die.

Care to be first?

Give a name to this earthly conceit. It is

unchangeable, but it can change you. It can teach you or trap

you. All who reside there are immortal, but you can never go

there.

I hope you're as smart as you are strong.

The answer lies before your eyes. Choose your words

before the sands run their course.

It's unchangeable.

All who reside in it are immortal.

It's Mt. Olympus!

It's not a place that's the trick.

Yeah, well, I don't see you coming up with anything.

Well, if you'd be quiet, maybe I can think.

Well, I won't be holding my breath for that now, will I?

Oh, we're running out of time!

Maybe, that's it.

Oh, yes, of course, it's time! Well, that didn't work. Any

more brilliant ideas? Well, answer!

Laughs.

Act 2

The answer lies before your eyes. Time is running out the

past!

Huh.

After you.

Felix?

I've come to say goodbye.

Goodbye?

I've crossed over to the other side.

It's all my fault. I should have protected you.

It's too late for that, now.

No this this can't be.

I never wanted to be a hero, Mother but you didn't give

me any choice. There was no other way for this to end."

Felix please forgive me.

Perhaps in time. Goodbye.

Wait let me come with you please.

I was hoping you'd say that.

Ah there's an oil pouch. We'll use it to keep the lamp

lit.

Poor baby afraid of the dark?

You don't look like you're doing too well.

Oh, don't you worry your pretty little head about me. I'll

be as good as new, soon enough. In the meantime, a little water

should do the trick.

Here.

Such a gentleman.

Yeah.

The world doesn't deserve you.

It doesn't deserve you, either.

We're not as different as you like to think.

Oh, really?

We both believe the wicked should be punished only I see

something you don't.

Yeah I'm sure you'll let me know what it is, won't you?

All people are wicked and they deserve everything they're

gonna get.

I've known too much good in the world to believe that.

Good? Is that supposed to be some kind of joke? If mortals

were good well, then, we wouldn't need you around, would we?

You've seen the darkest side of people a child who watched

her parents die has my compassion. But you had a choice. You

chose evil. That's where my compassion ends.

Claps. Your faith in the world is touching! Let's see how

well it holds up at the end of the day shall we?

Anything?

No not a sign of him.

Now, what?

Ah, it's hotter 'n Tartarus in here. You know, I I gotta

bad feeling about this. Let's go back."

Wait, wait, wait. What's wrong?

You ever get a feeling that life is just ebbing away?

Kinda getting out of step with things and- there's nothing you

can do about it?

Did you hear that?

What? I don't hear anything what?

Sh-sh! There it is, again.

I can't hear anything.

I'll be right back.

Jason? Ja Jason, wait. Jason! Where are you?

Ah-hah! Humming. Ah King Iphicles! Just in time. Uh,

would you be so kind as to hand me that bowl of turnips?

What are you talking about? There's nothing there!

Are you blind? I'll get it myself. So little time! So

much to cook! Hot stuff. Watch the tongue.

I'm warning you!

Be honest! You won't hurt my feelings. I want everything

to be perfect when Hercules arrives. It's his birthday, you

know. A surprise not a word to anyone.

Traitor!

What did you do that for?

Yells. Huh?

King Iphicles? He didn't like my stew.

You're not living up to my expectations. I imagined you'd

spend the day trying to convince me that I can change like our

beloved Shego.

Shego changed because she wanted to.

Did she, now? You know, she watched me die. It's ironic

you know? I mean, not long ago, you would've joined me in

bringing her down.

Wrong our definitions of justice aren't the same.

Oh, true that's very true. I believe that she deserves to

die a very slow and painful death.

Vengeance isn't justice. If you understood that, maybe

you'd find peace.

Peace? Peace? I dreamed of peace. I imagined it. Let me

die so I can find it. Tartarus should've been a welcome change.

Instead I learned the true meaning of torture trapped in my

hatred with nothing to do.

Lady immortality won't solve your problem.

Hiss.

Jason, where'd you go? Jason? Jason. Jason! Jason!

Hello. We've been waiting for you, Will. We

can't resist your charms. We can't resist yours. Don't

leave us waiting. Will.

Don't tell me we're lost.

I can't seem to left or right. So many details I know

I should've written it down.

Great.

Oh, no, no it's left. Screams Felix!

I guess it was right.

Looks like I'm in a real bind.

Ron!

I'm right here! here! here!

Ron! Keep talking!

That's what I'm trying to do! I'm over here! here!

Felix hurry! hurry! Your friends! If I die, they die!

Act 3

Felix! Felix! Felix! Hurry! Screams

Ron hold on! Grab on!

Oh my hero.

Yeah, right.

Laughing

Come this way, Will. Catch me if you can.

Hey!

Jason.

Laughs. Well come on baby, just one more for old

times' sake?

You're you're me?

Laughs.

No!

Come here, handsome. Let me take a look at that

pretty young face of mine. Laughs.

What's going on? Jason! Jason! Where are you?

Laughs.

I think the first thing I'm gonna do, is find the good Shego,

rip out her tongue, just to hear her whistle an apology!

I hate to spoil your fantasy, but you're not out of here

yet.

Oh, but neither are you.

When we make it to the tree of life, and when I save my

family and friends, you are going back to where you belong. I'll

see to that myself.

Enough! No rooms can hold me. Haven't you figured that

out, yet? And you're the only one that can stop me, and to do

that, you'd have to kill me. But you can't your misguided

sense of justice won't allow it.

You're overlooking something.

Oh am I?

You've already been killed. The only reason you're still

standing is because I need directions.

I've underestimated you.

I'm flattered.

Fortunately you've overlooked something as well.

I don't think so.

If I go back to the Underworld, I won't be suffering alone.

I'll find your children Clonus, Aison, and little Ileia is

it? And I'll dedicate eternity to making them suffer. I mean,

after all I got here, didn't I? I can get to them. That's

it that's the spirit. Kill me. I dare you. Laughs. Who's

trapped in their hatred, now?

Thought you could sneak up on me, did

you? Morphs into Old Will. I'm going to kill you. I'm gonna

kill you!

We're almost at the other side, Mother.

But Jason and Iphicles.

They'll be joining us soon. Then we'll all be together,

again.

Yes.

Don't tell me you're confused again.

Oh, no, I'm I'm quite certain it's this way. Oh, um I

lied. Lovely detail Hephaestus is quite the craftsman. Hera

Felix delivered, as promised. I fulfilled my end of the

bargain it's your turn.

It's not over, yet!

Felix I have enjoyed our little time together. But you

know I think I can take it from here. ? Are we having fun

yet? Oh, look at the bright side you'll be meeting up ? with

your friends soon enough. Oh, and this this is for Shego.

Goodbye, Felix.

Act 4

Fight

Delicious. Oh, you're gonna die on your birthday. How

convenient.

No!

Blow it out and make a wish. A pity we couldn't work out

our differences. We would've made an unstoppable team.

I already have a partner.

Not for long.

Why can't you just die like a good boy?

I guess I don't know when to quit.

Well, let me inspire you. Even if you could find your way

without me you won't make it in time to save your friends.

That's where you're wrong. I know something you don't.

Laughs. Oh?

We're out of oil. That leads right back to the entrance.

Surprise!

Oh, don't don't leave! Please, don't leave I can't

see!

Here give me your hand!

Screams. No! No!

Must find meat. Laughs.

Falafel! Come on! Give me a hand! Get this off!

Here, piggy, piggy, piggy!

Falafel what are you doing?

Yells. My turn.

This is it, Mother right up here.

Screams.

Jason don't.

Felix?

Felix?

Don't talk with your mouth full.

Scream.

You'll thank me later. Give me that. Here you seen my

mother?

No, we haven't seen her.

Give them each a bite.

Why?

Trust me.

One more step and we'll be together forever.

I'm coming, Felix. I love you.

I love you too, Mother.

What kind of trick is this? He he looks like you.

Mother I'm right here.

No my son is dead.

I'm not. Oh, Mother.

Felix? Does this mean I'm not going to the

Underworld?

Uh no not yet. Uh here, I I brought something for

you.

Oh for me?

Yeah.

You shouldn't have. Oh, Felix now, where have you

been? I've been worried sick.

Mother, it has been a very, very long day. I'll tell you

about it later. Let's go find the others, OK?

Hey-hey! "I'm sorry you missed your birthday!

Well, the day's not over, yet.

We still have cake.

Yeah and you gotta open all your presents, yet.

Oh, that reminds me. There was a a woman here earlier

poor thing. She wanted to leave you a gift.

Well she did. She made me appreciate my family more than

ever.


End file.
